10 Mugshot Tips for Your Next Arrest

Police have taken mugshots of accused criminals almost since the beginning of photography. Why? So they’ll recognize you when you commit future crimes … and for their never-ending amusement. But there’s a real art to posing for a great mugshot. So, we present this rogue’s gallery for your education. And may the rest of you feel relief that these folks were taken off the street. At least temporarily.

10. Don’t flip the bird

The parrot squealed.

9. Don’t flip the other bird

Yeah, probably not the smartest thing just before
the jailer forgets where he put you.

8. Try not to look so handsome

Casting directors and fashion photographers prowl the mugshot galleries
looking for models. You don’t need that kind of drama.

7. Always comb your hair

A mustache on your forehead might be an identifying mark. Maybe.

6. Don’t forget to shave

“Prisoner, please turn to your left. No, your right. Crap.”

5. Never smile

No, really, never smile. Ever. Anywhere.

4. You might notice a little flash

You’re gonna hate this portrait when your yearbook arrives. Just sayin’.

3. Be a bad-ass from the start

Bald, middle-aged guys don’t fare well in prison
unless they look like outlaw bikers from a distance.

2. Don’t make faces

If this is your resting grandpa face, don’t break the law. Ever.

1. Don’t try to hide

They’ve got facial recognition software on every street corner. Just kidding. They don’t. You’re good.

The cover image is absolutely real. The poor guy was apparently caught
robbing a head shop to pay for his brain surgery.

Can’t get enough of Ron’s “Incredible 10” lists? Browse some of the previous blogs here:
                ◙ 10 Crime Myths You Probably Believe
                ◙ 10 Texas Crime Facts You Didn’t Know
15 Places for Writers to Retire
10 Wyoming Crime Facts You Didn’t Know
10 Songs for Every Writer’s Playlist